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I felt the need to blog today. It's been a while now, but hey no big deal because I have just been spending my time making everyone else happy. I realized that all I do ever is make sure everyone else is happy, then, and only then, do I worry if I am happy or where I want to be or with people I actually like. Unfortunatly, this causes a lot of issues with Zach and I because, for me, he is an indulgence-- something I only allow myself to have when everyone else is happy because he makes me happy. In the meantime though, I neglect to keep him happy by talking to him and hanging out with him and this is tough for me cause I can't seem to find the balance between keeping EVERYONE happy and myself. This frustration is making it harder and harder to put on a happy face for everyone and I am unsure how much longer I can keep acting like I care about everyone ten times more than myself. But I guess it is no big deal.